Lord, I Need You
Frank D. Williams / Production Director
“…We interrupt your regularly scheduled program, to bring you this word of encouragement” LOL
As a kid, I would be heated when I’d be watching one of my favorite TV shows, and that annoying announcement would cut into my viewing time. The audacity they had to interrupt my program.
So now I get to interrupt your day. LOL
Goooood grief, y’all. I am being asked to write. Lemme calm down … whew!!
This is exhilarating and has all the feels … can you tell?! But do you ever get that sensation when you are asked to do something that’s a little out of your comfort zone? You know, that drop at the pit of your stomach that sends all kinds of alarms to your body and you’re feeling beads of sweat form around your head, there’s a sensation like a heavy blanket on your soul, and your extremities get a little more chilly than usual, especially for THIS time of year…?
No …?
Just me …?
Okay.
Can I be frank for a second …? LOL
My comfort zone’s range is dependent upon the day of the week AND the task(s) at hand. I can be as high as the noon-day sun on a summer’s day, or as low as a missed FG attempt to tie a playoff game …
Still too soon …?
Forgive my attempt at humor but when I find myself in those wildly ranging and turbulent ebbs and flows of emotions, I remind myself, “Lord, I need you …”
When I accepted the role as Production Director at Eastern Hills, I had no idea as to what I was going to be getting myself into, but I daily say, “Lord, I need you.”
I can remember when I got my first job as a help desk specialist, I had no clue of what the information technology field was about, but I kept saying, “Lord, I need you.”
When I set out to write a song, release it into the world, I had no clue of what it was going to take or when I wrote my first manuscript, I felt overwhelmed, disappointed, deflated, and defeated after the hundreds of rejection letters, and still I pressed on because it led to that one yes, and it was on it’s way to being published as a book.
See, I grew up in a home that made it THE point to put Christ first, and now as Debi and I continue to parent our two high school teens, Caidyn and Jaren, that’s still the point.
But again, can I be frank … I miss the mark in those ways, and I feel a certain amount of pressure, burden, weight, whatever adjective you wanna use here, to act, react as I move and operate in my own understanding, and I forget to ask Him for His wisdom, His mind, and what plan He has formulated for the situation.
I am too grateful and astounded and mystified at the continued faithfulness and unfailing love God shows me on a daily basis. When I feel like I have missed the mark, and lemme tell you, some days I be thinkin’ I missed it too often (y’all forgive me but this is how I talk and write when I am just allowed to be me … insert eye wink LOL) AND yet, I can truly feel His loving arms pull me in when I wanna slump my shoulders, sigh, and have a pity party.
This is supposed to be encouraging so lemme wrap this up and I will you leave you with this. I love the writer of Lamentations, it’s like he gets me. In chapter 3, beginning with verse 20, he simply says that he can recall well all his troubles and he was sad as a result. Now I don’t know the reasons behind his troubles, but for me, most of mine have been because I have sinned, made mistakes, messed up, I have uttered words that were hurtful, damaging, unfruitful and I remember those sharp moments. Instantly I am shrouded in a cloud of shame, regret, and remorse because it’s like I was transported back into the moments when I did something that ain’t right (English teachers and the like, lemme have this, I’m in my element lol) and that feeling of, “arrrrgh, I messed up,” and it’s like we catch our parent’s eye.
That eye when I lock in on theirs, and I think … mother-bunny, I am busted. LOL
And the feeling of shame, regret pours over me, and I lower my head, I put my hands in my pocket, and kick that imaginary rock, and say, “I’m sorry …”
Anyhoo … I love in the next verse, 21, where he is encouraging himself with this pause word, BUT—and here’s the rub for me… then I think about this AND I have hope …
Can we just take that in for a minute … just a minute …?!
Something had to have been brought to his attention; he somehow had to have been reminded of a blessed time before and in the instance, he gathers himself and, if I may, like we all should, remember that the Lord is faithful and trustworthy, loving, just, and near to us.
The writer goes on to write, in verse 22: “We are still alive because the Lord’s faithful love never ends.” Verse 23: “Every morning he shows it in new ways! You are so very true and loyal!” And it culminates with this, verse 24: “I say to myself, “The Lord is my God, and I trust him.”
Whatever it is that you are currently facing, whatever the predicament looks like, as daunting a mountain may stand, as harrowing as the rapids may look, if I may …
Remember to pause, think about all of the previous times the Lord has been there, remember His wonderful acts of love to you, and allow those memories to replay in your mind’s “movie theatre,” and His word to build up your faith, and then say, “I am still alive because Your faithful love is unending. God, I see it is fresh today, as You remain true and steadfast. You are MY God and I trust YOU.”
… and we now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress …